Ah, yes. Time to go back to college. Well kinda. Spoiler Alert: I’ve been back since the 15th for band camp. But, after everything that has happened this summer I was low key excited to come back to Thiel’s campus, even though I considered not coming back. There isn’t anything compared to the beautiful view walking around campus in the fall. Well, the view of my bed sounds pretty damn good right now. Regardless, after losing my biggest supporter two months ago to this day, I’ve been searching for a sense of “home”. Thiel is my forever home. It’s the place where I have grown the most. From heartache to failing to succeeding it’s all happened here. The past eight semesters of my life have been hell, so naturally I have high expectations for this ninth semester.
It’s funny how I ended up here four years ago not knowing where the hell I was going or what to expect. I was wide eyed and had a sense of knowing where I was going in life. I was excited at the endless possibilities that were going to be in front of me. Internships, Jobs, Grad School, OH MY! Jokes on me, because I did none of that. Sure, your first year of college is naturally going to be rocky. Hell, I’ll give you the fall semester of your sophomore year to get it together. Not me. It wasn’t until spring semester of my junior year that I got my life together. I was fresh out of a fantastic semester of depression, alcohol and emotional abuse. All of these factors landed me my beautiful 1.7 GPA. The lowest GPA I have ever received in my life actually changed my whole life. I was shook and not in the good way.
This 1.7 GPA that I earned and deserved changed my life for the better. You’re probably wondering why and it’s actually simple. It made me get my shit together. Yeah, I was devastated. I was getting myself out of my depressive state before I checked my grades. I was pancking because I didn’t know what to do now. I knew this meant that I was going to have to come back to Thiel for a ninth semester. I wasn’t going to graduate on time. I was going to be attending grad school in the fall of 2017 like I had planned since freshman year. I lost it. But then, like everything else in my life, I found the silver lining and let me tell you how glad I am that this happened. I am so glad that I got this GPA. I’m so glad that I was put on academic probation for my sorority. I am so glad that I busted my ass to get myself out of the hole that I dug and threw myself in. I picked up my second major and took on the world with a new outlook.
To be honest, it’s not that uncommon to take a ninth semester at Thiel. I know a good handful of people that I came in with that are still here. Hell, I know people who have been here that are older than me that are still here. I keep telling people that I came back because I love Thiel THAT much (which isn’t a lie).
But now, I’m at another point in my life where I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.
I’m totally okay with the fact that I have NO CLUE what’s next. I graduate in December. I told myself after losing my mom this summer that I’d let myself have September to work on myself. I need to get myself back together before I can start putting my future back together. Let me tell you how much this would scare freshman year Kate. She’d be hyperventilating in Sawhill Room 100 at the simple fact that Plan A didn’t work and she wouldn’t even know how to make Plan B or C or so on. I think that taking everything day by day now is so freeing. I fee free. There are so many possibilities now. I can do so many different things in so many different places. Grad school is for sure being put off for a couple more years, but I’m excited to find a job that I wake up excited for. Who knows what’ll be in store for me over the next few months, but I’m super excited to have an amazing adventure to the future.